It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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