JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize