Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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