How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
