You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
