And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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