I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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