Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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