Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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