I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I know her cup size but not her name....
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