dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
