Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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