belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
