I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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