Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
