I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
