dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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