garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
