While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
