This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
