No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
