Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
