Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
