i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
