I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
