awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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