The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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