i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
