It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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