Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
