I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
