Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
