we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
