is wine microwaveable?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
