Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
