I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
