I look better un-naked...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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