Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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