I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it was like eating out sand paper
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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