FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
