im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
