I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize