some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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