i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
