She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize