he puts the penis in happiness.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't turn off my feet"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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