Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
