I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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