i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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