is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
