If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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