just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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