I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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