I think I am morally bankrupt
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
