My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize