After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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