hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My penis needs a shock collar
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize