you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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