I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
soo... how was my night?
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