I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
