I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
