apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
honey bunches of taint.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
