can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
