i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
