I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
